From The Depths of My Mind
by OddObsessed
Summary: Noodle gives 2D a book, telling him to keep his secrets in there. 2D x Noodle. Previously called 'Darkness of Your Eyes'
1. JanuaryxFebuary

**Ok. This is kinda weird compared to some stories. It's done like a diary. 2D's diary, to be precise. Uhh... More random info, if you scroll down a tad.**

* * *

**January 1st**

I got this from Noodle today. Not sure why. I didn't think you were supposed to give gifts for New Years. She told me to write in it everyday, about anything. Lots of people do it. I'm not really sure why, but she said it was a good idea. The book is supposed to be a secret. I'm not sure 'bout that either. Oh well.

**January 2****nd**

It's Sunday today. Muds is sleepin and Russel is doing who knows what in the kitchen. Noods came in and helped me decorate the cover of this book. There's photos of the band on it now. She had heaps of fun doing it. She likes bein creative, doesn't she? I'll have to find out what it means when she calls me '2D-kun.' What's a kun?

**Jan 3****rd****.**

Found out from Google that this is called a diary. Aren't girls supposed to keep diary's? Does Noodle think I'm a girl??

**Jan 4****th**

Muds is still in his Winnebago. What's he doin in there? I don't think there's anybody with him. He must be bored. I'd go talk to him but I think he'd probably hit me.

**Jan 6****th**

Didn't write yesterday. Didn't do anything. Noods came in again this morn. We played video games until 5. I can never beat her. I think I have a bad controller, cuz the aiming is all wrong.

As fun as it is, I don't see why she won't play pong with me. It's a very fun game. I like it much better. Oh, I haven't played it for awhile.

**Jan 7****th**

Played pong today. I got another high score. 15, 375 points! I'm getting even better at it. I'd play on the net but they've made it all colourful and confusing. I like the old graphics better. Plus the internet is hard to use. I keep getting advertisements, and something called a… Viro? Virus? Yeah... And Muds keeps emailing me, saying I'm gay.

**Jan 8****th**

Searched what gay means. I am _not _gay. I think he's had too much to drink again.

**Jan 11****th**

I saw Muds today. He came out of his Winnebago for once. Wanted to strangle him but he beat me to it. I've got red marks around my neck now. Looks like somebody bit me or somthin…

**Jan 17****th**

Noods would kill me if she knew how many days I'd skipped writing in here. But it is my secret, as she said. So she doesn't need to know. I still think this is pointless.

**Jan 18****th**

Found out Noods has one of these, too. Won't tell me where it is tho.

**Jan 19****th**

Tried to go skateboardin today. Didn't turn out so good. I fink I broke my ankle. It hurts. I need more painkillers.

**Jan 24****th**

Asked Noods what day it was today, and she laughed at me. So I searched it on Google. Great thing, Google. I think it's Monday. I've had this thing for 3 weeks now. Still don't know what it's for.

**Jan 29****th**

I'm hiding from Murdoc. He kept trying to find me today. I'm scared. Where should I go??

**Jan 30****th**

He found me. I don't hate him, but I don't like him either. My arm hurts now.

**February 1****st**

I asked Noods if she wanted to make another album. I don't think she will unless Rus wants to. And Rus doesn't want to. Why? It's good fun. All we're doin these days is sleeping, eatin, and more sleeping. I may as well live in a trailer park.

**Feb 2****nd**

Actually, no. If I lived in a trailer park, I mightn't have my massive TV screens. And then I couldn't play pong. Besides, I don't wanna live in a trailer.

**Feb 5****th**

Today was weird. Noodle was playing 'El Manana' in the kitchen, but when I sung along she went red, grabbed her guitar and ran off. What'd I do??

**Feb 6****th**

I think she's hiding from me. Which is funny. I'm still hiding from Murdoc.

**Feb 8****th**

She's still not talking to me. I tried singing with my keyboard, but it's not the same. I need somebody to play guitar with me. And I am _not _asking Murdoc to.

**Feb 9****th**

Murdoc found me and asked me to marry him. I think he's been drinkin. Either that or those emails calling me gay were serious.

I'm really bored. Tomorrow I'm gonna to try and figure out why Noodle's been avoiding me.

**Feb 11****th**

Noods caught me following her. She went red and ran off again, after saying a lot in Japanese. What's a baka?

**Feb 12****th**

Oh. So that's a baka. What did I do wrong? Why am I a baka?

I think Muds forgot about what he said. That's good. I didn't really wanna marry him anyway.

**Feb 14****th**

Did nothing on the weekend. I asked Noodle if she wanted to play games with me and she shook her head. But she did promise to see me on Friday! Hopefully we can play a bit of music. I haven't done that in a long time.

I hope I can still sing. What is it that lets you sing?

**Feb 15****th**

I asked Russel and he told me that your vocal chords are your voice and make you sound, well, like you. Can you break em? I wonder if Murdocs were squashed as a kid.

I hope mine weren't damaged when he choked me the other day. They're in your throat, right??

**Feb 16****th**

I found out you can damage them. Somethin to do with the wrong breathing technique while singing… Oh, and screaming can damage em. And really bad colds. I'm surprised mine still work. I don't know if strangling can damage them.

My head hurts really badly behind my eyes. I need medication. I wonder if the migraines are because of the damage to my eyes?

**Feb 17****th**

I fink it's cuz I kept hitting my head as a child. It wasn't my fault. Anyway, it's not like I have brain damage or somethin.

Noodle's coming over tomorrow. I was thinkin about cleaning up, but I can't be bothered. My head still hurts. It hasn't stopped since yesterday. Muds stole the really powerful stuff, so I've only got aspirins left. I know he may have a bad hangover, but those will knock him out.

…That might be why I haven't seen him around lately.

**Feb 18****th**

My head feels kind of better. Which is good. Noodle seemed a bit tense today. Her playing was perfect like usual, but somethin about her seemed a bit… I don't know. But she was happier by the end of it.

Which is good. She's really pretty when she smiles.

**Feb 19****th**

I just read over yesterday's entry. If this wasn't in pen, I'd erase that. I mean, she is really pretty and all, but I'm not really supposed to notice that, am I? Must've been those new drugs. They numbed my head and all, but I think they were a bit too strong. I'll see the doctor and ask if there's anything better.

**Same day**

He said that it shouldn't have been too strong. I swear it was. He gave me more new stuff today, saying this might be better. I hope so.

I have this tune that Noods kept playing stuck in my head. It's really slow and sweet. I wonder if we could use it somehow? I'll invite her down again tomorrow and talk to her about it. I have the best idea.

**Feb 24****th**

Noodle still seems tense. But she was happy to play for me again. We wrote down a few words, uh, lyrics? I think that's the word. I promised her I'd play around with some notes on the keyboard. Would keyboard sound good with this though? I want to use the Melodica again. Not many bands use that instrument.

**Feb 25****th**

Noodle said something about a Zen bond..? What's a Zen bond?? Sounds like a type of food.

**Feb 26****th**

Muds is alive. He tried to give me a pickle sandwich today. He does realize I'm allergic to em, right?

**Feb 27****th**

Got an email to do with Child Support. Forgot to pay up again.

**Feb 28****st**

Noodle's been working on that song more than I have. She's pretty much finished the entire guitar part. I asked if she wanted to work on it with Murdoc and Russel, so that we could release it, but she said she wants it to be a secret song between us. What does she mean by that? It's not _that _bad. Well, I don't think so. I'll have to ask her what she meant by it.

Why is Google always workin? It never goes down for maintenance. Never. Weird. Does it have more than one server??

…What is a server, exactly?

* * *

**I wanted to write something in a different format. So instead of just telling the story like, well, normal, I thought this'd be a good idea. I'm not sure how it'll go. Hopefully it'll turn out ok. Yes, this is hinting at Noodle x 2D. Yayyy.**


	2. MarchxApril

**March 1st**

Noodle agreed that the Melodica would sound good for this piece. We know the timing for my singing and all now, but I have no idea what to sing. The lyrics I came up with weren't very good.

**Mar 2****nd**

Noods stayed in my room last night. She probably shouldn't, but we were both pretty tired. We were playing all night. Some video games, some music. I didn't sleep till 2. I only woke up an hour ago, and it's 7 pm now. I think I'm like one of those animals… the ones that sleep during the day.

**Mar 3****rd**

Found out what those animals are called. Nocturnal. How do you say that? It's a pretty long word.

**Mar 5****th**

Russel wasn't too happy when he found out Noods stayed in my room 4 days ago. I told him it was too dangerous for her to wander around at night anyway, so it was safer if she stayed with me. Russ gave her a curfew.

I thought that was a good argument tho. I mean, it was safer with me. Otherwise some zombie might've tried to eat her.

**Mar 8****th**

The marks on my neck are going, which is good. Noods thought they were hickey's, and then she explained to me what they were.

Um, why did she think that? I told her it was Murdocs fault I got them, too. It's not like…

Did he send her the email saying I was gay?

**Mar 9****th**

I told her bout the email. She thought it was really funny. I didn't, but I like hearing her laugh.

**Mar 10****th**

…Ignore yesterday's entry.

**Mar 14****th**

Can't write. Too tired.

**Mar 15****th**

Murdoc seems to have gone off in his Winnebago again. He really likes that thing. Isn't he bored?

**Mar 18****th**

I think I've found the worlds longest song title. Or close to it.

"_Regretting What I Said to You When You Called Me 11:00 On a Friday Morning to Tell Me that at 1:00 Friday Afternoon You're Gonna Leave Your Office, Go Downstairs, Hail a Cab to Go Out to the Airport to Catch a Plane to Go Skiing in the Alps for Two Weeks, Not that I Wanted to Go With You, I Wasn't Able to Leave Town, I'm Not a Very Good Skier, I Couldn't Expect You to Pay My Way, But After Going Out With You for Three Years I Don't Like Surprises!" _by Christine Lavin

It's usually shortened to 'Regretting What I Said (A Musical Apology)'

Why make a title that long, if you're just gonna shorten it later?

**Mar 20****th**

I woke up with Noodle sitting on my stomach, smiling at me.

I'm kinda scared.

**Mar 21****st**

This morning I tripped over her while I was getting outta bed. What's she doing in my room anyway?

**Mar 22****nd****.**

No Noodle this morn, so I rolled over and went back to sleep. Woke up when Murdoc yelled at me. Haven't eaten anything today. I'm kinda hungry now.

**Mar 23****rd**

I'm out of pills!

**Mar 25****th**

I tried to play one of Noodles guitars today. How does she do it? I can't get my fingers around the stings and stuff. Especially the metal things on the neck that split it into sections.

**Mar 26****th**

They're called frets. What does that mean?

I still can't believe anybody can play that thing. She must be really good with her fingers.

**Mar 27****th**

Just read over that. Don't think of the last part in that way. Please don't.

Why am I explaining myself to you? You're just a book.

**Mar 29****th**

Russel asked me what I did for Valentines day. I told him I'd forgotten about it. He just looked down the hallway and shook his head.

Does he know somethin I don't??

**Mar 30****th**

I thought Noodle might know why Russ did that yesterday. As soon as I told her she ran off yellin at him. Wasn't I meant to know?

**Mar 31****st**

Seems like everything bad happens because of me. Snap. Mite as well play pong again. Can't hurt anyone by doing that.

**April 1****st**

Must be April Fools.

I hate Murdoc.

**April 2****nd**

Noodle was slumped over near my door this morning. Thought she was dead. Turns out she was sleeping in my room again.

…This has to stop. Russel gave her a curfew for a reason.

**April 3****rd**

Asked why Noodle kept sleeping in my room, and she ran again.

Why does she keep runnin from me?

Do I even need to say that she was there this morn?

**April 5****th**

She wasn't in my room this morning. That's two mornings in a row that's she's stayed in her room. Probably a good thing.

My head is killin me.

**April 6****th**

So much for that. Nearly tripped on her again. Could've whacked me head or somethin.

**April 7****th**

Russ still hasn't realized that Noodle isn't in her bedroom every night. I'm gonna stay up late playing pong or somethin. That was I'll be up when she comes in.

**April 8****th**

Fell asleep while playing on the old Playstation. When I woke up, Noodle was next to me. What'd I do to deserve this? Every morning when I see her, I nearly have a heart attack!

**April 10****th**

Swear I saw a unicorn this arvo. Scarier than waking up to find a sleeping Noodle next to you.

**April 13****th**

Felt like crying. Not sure why. Need more medication.

**April 14****th**

I have more medication. Feel much better.

**April 16****th**

Noodle hasn't been in my room recently. I have a feeling she'll be in again today, tho. I'm going to catch her.

I'm not going to take my pills. If my headache is bad enough, maybe it'll keep me awake.

**April 17****th**

Headache was so bad I had to take something. Good thing is, I managed to stay up. I was playing pong when she opened my door. She made this really high pitch 'eep' sound and tried to leave, but I stopped her. I asked why she kept coming into my room and she told me she was scared.

Scared of what?? She's lived here most of her life. I mean, she was scared when she first came here (What 10 year old wouldn't, with the living dead walking around) but she should be fine now. She's almost 18!

…Wow. I remember when she was 10. Well, sort of. I don't remember much really. But I know she was a lot smaller and, um, innocent.

**April 19****th**

Just remembered back when Noodle was 10 and a half. Everytime I had a really bad migraine, I'd wake up with half of her stuffed animal collection around me. After she remembered English she told me why. Back then she thought the toys helped her feel better, and that they might help my headache.

How cute!

**April 20****th**

No, not cute. Not at all. No, no, no.

**April 22****nd**

Noodle wants to repaint her room, and wants me to help. Why? She never sleeps in there anyway.

**April 24****th**

Forgot it was Easter today. I was wondering why Noodle gave me a giant chocolate bunny rabbit. It was at least as tall as my hip. Decided to share it with her; I kinda forgot to get her something.

**April 25****th**

Finished the rabbit about 10-ish last night. Decided it wasn't worth going up to her bedroom, so she stayed with me again. I told her last night would be the last time, because Russ would hang me with my own guts otherwise.

You know what she did? She made her eyes really, really big and made them go all watery, and then she bit her lip and stared at me.

How could I reject that??

**April 26****th**

Murdoc hasn't been out 'ere in days.

**April 27****th**

Noodle ran out my room at about 12, saying she forgot her tampons.

What's that??

**April 28****th**

Searched what a tampon is.

I think I've been scarred.

**April 30****th**

Russ wanted me to help him cook some pasta for dinner.

…The oven's getting repaired next Tuesday.

* * *

**Lol.**

**Random.**

**Review?**


	3. MayxJune

**May 1****st**

It was raining today.

Why's today called Sunday? It's not exactly sunny…

**May 2****nd**

Still raining.

**May 3****rd**

Repairman came today.

Russel told me not to help him cook anymore.

Why not??

**May 5****th**

Noodle was sitting outside in the rain today. She'll catch pneumonia or somethin.

**May 6****th**

She was outside again today. It wasn't raining, but it was still very cold. She hasn't been in my room recently.

**May 7****th**

I went out to see Noodle today. I was shivering, but she didn't seem too cold. I don't think she realized I was with her until she stopped playing her guitar. I asked what's wrong and she just kinda looked at me, then stood up and hugged me.

…I like her hugs. Except the guitar kept coming between us. Does she ever put it down??

**May 8****th**

Haven't seen Murdoc in ages. It's really cold. The only room with heating is near the kitchen. Maybe I should sleep there now?

**May 11****th**

Noodle isn't staying outside anymore. Good. She'd catch her death out there.

**May 14****th**

I stayed near the kitchen last night. It's a lot warmer, but Russel's always up by 7. I prefer being able to sleep in.

**May 15****th**

Murdoc came out today to get lunch. He kept glaring at me, but Russel made sure he didn't come too close.

I don't really wanna get injured.

**May 16****th**

I'm hungry.

**May 17****th**

Woke up with Noodle in my room again. She's progressed to sleeping in my bed. I don't like this. I don't want people getting the wrong idea…

**May 18****th**

Murdoc has an interview tomorrow. I wonder how that'll go?

**May 19****th**

Murdoc was actually wearing pants today. And a shirt! I feel shocked.

But he is goin to an interview. No wonder.

I can watch it on August 10th.

**May 21****st**

Noodle was playing guitar near my head when I woke up. Scared me half to death.

She told me she wants a pet fish. Why would anyone want a pet fish? I always wanted a puppy.

**May 22****nd**

Noodle wouldn't let me into the kitchen today. Aren't I allowed to eat?

**May 23****rd**

It was my birthday today! Nobody told me it was my birthday!

I'm 31. I feel kinda old.

**May ****24****th**

I have time to write today, so I'll tell you, er, write to you, what happened.

Well I woke up with Noodle sitting on me again. She didn't say anything, just threw a shirt at me and pulled me out my room.

The kitchen had balloons all around and party streamers. It looked really good.

Russel then took us out for lunch. Murdoc and Russel sat on one side of the table, Noodle and me on the other. There was so much food! I had a lot of chicken. Noodle wanted me to try something that looked kind of weird. It tasted ok. It was rice in green stuff.. Uh, seaweed, with some fish stuff inside of it. I'm not too keen on fish. I still prefer chicken.

We had to leave once some fans figured out we were there. I'm glad that there are people out there who care about my birthday and all, but it get's annoying. Murdoc still won't talk to me.

And then once we got home, Noodle dragged me to her room. I haven't been in there often. It's very, well, Japanese. She gave me present. Well, it was a few presents. Have to open them soon.

**May 25****th**

That weird food was called Sushi.

Umm, what else to write…

Oh yeah.

In the one with green wrapping it had a new flick-knife and a zombie video game. The one with red wrapping had a crystalish-blue melodica in it, and the one in blue wrapping had a Napoleon Dynamite limited edition DVD pack!

She always knows what I want.

**May 26****th**

Played the new game with Noodle last night. We watched my new copy of Napoleon Dynamite! Never get tired of that movie.

**May 28****th**

Murdoc actually came out of his Winnebago today. He saw the new DVD and told me I was a dullard for opening it, 'cause it's a collectors item or somthin.

What's the point in getting something if you're not gonna use it??

**May 30****th**

Couldn't sleep last night. Noodle wasn't in my room, either.

Maybe I'm getting used to her being in my room??

**June 1****st**

Noodle and Murdoc were arguing today. I didn't really wanna intrude, but I could hear them on the other side of the carpark. I heard my name a few times. Well, '2D-san' and 'Dullard' at least.

What'd I do this time?

**June 3****rd**

Russels birthday today! He's 34. Doesn't look it. We took him out for lunch, like we did with me. Had to watch where we went, cuz he's allergic to wheat and all.

Even though we all agreed we wouldn't give each other birthday presents, Noodle still gives us all something. When's she find the time to go shopping?

She got him a new shirt and matching cap. Really nice, too. Expensive, I fink.

**June 5t****h**

Haven't spoken to Noodle in ages. Did Murdoc tell her somethin?

I kinda miss her company…

**June 6****th**

It was Murdocs birthday today. Wow. Feels like it was Russels just yesterday.

He's 43. And I thought_I _was old.

Didn't really see him today though. He left at about 10, seeing he needed to see his family for his birthday. I should probably visit mine soon. I haven't spoken to them in so long…

Wait, Murdoc has a family?

**June 7****th**

I asked Noods about Murdocs family. Apparently he lived with his dad, and he wasn't particularly nice to him. Why's he seeing him, then? I wouldn't.

I'll never understand Muds. Oh well. He's gonna be gone for a week or so. He'll be back by next month.

**June 9****th**

Noodle tried teaching me guitar today. I still don't get it.

I showed her the melodica, and she picked it up straight away.

How come she can do these things so easily?

**June 11****th**

I found something Noodle isn't amazing at. Keyboard. I mean, she's good at it, but I'm actually better than her! Ha! That and singing.

Although she's a great singer. But… well, I'm still better.

**June 13****th**

Haven't got any emails. I feel kinda lonely. Where's Noodle when ya need her?

**June 14****th**

Russel seems kind of tired. I'm really bored. I haven't even got a migraine to keep me busy for once.

**June 15****th**

Just realized that it's fathers day next Sunday. I wonder if Murdoc's going to do anything with his dad??

I should call mine soon. Like I wrote earlier, I haven't spoken to him in a while.

**June 16****th**

It's kinda sunny today. Decided to snoop around outside for a bit. I actually found a bit of grass to sit on. Which is hard work, considering we live where we, well, live. Kong isn't the nicest place.

**June 17****th**

Stayed on my little grass patch again today. It's calming. And green. Why is grass green? Why is anything the colour it is?

**June 18****th**

Grass reflects the colour green, apparently. How's it do that? It's not a mirror.

**June 19****th**

Called dad today. He's doing well. The fairground is really popular right now! That's good. I promised to see him at the start of next year.

Just realized I forgot mothers day. I had to apologise to mom, but she didn't seem too upset. I'll have to pay more attention to the days.

**June 20****th**

Noodle kept smiling at me today. At least she's not angry.

**June 21****st**

…I dunno why she would be angry though.

**June 23****rd**

Noodle followed me to my grass patch today. She said it was nice, and pretty strange being where it is. I feel kinda proud. I mean, I'm the one who found it.

**June 24****th**

I'm tired. Wonder why Noodle keeps avoiding me.

**June 25****th**

Russel kept glancing at me. Does he know something I don't?

It's so strange. I haven't played pong in a while. Times are changing.

Actually, I hope not. I don't want to give up pong. I'm good at that game.

**June 26****th**

Heard Noodle playing guitar today. She has a gift, she does. Nobody can play like her.

**June 27****th**

Nood's been practising on my grass patch. I thought it was my patch? I don't mind sharing it, but… It's still my grass patch.

**June 28****th**

I followed her there today… I feel kind of dizzy. I don't know what to think. I need to lie down.

**June 29****th**

Still feel weird. I don't really want to leave my room. Why would she..?

I don't wanna think about it. I feel like if I write it down, it becomes more real… More like it had, well, happened. Definitely. Even though it doesn't make a difference… it does.I just confused myself.

**June 30****th**

Ok. I'll write it down. I followed her. She was playing 'O Green World'. I like that one. Anyway, I walked up. She saw me, put down her guitar and kissed me.

That's it.

* * *

**I figured it'd be kinda shocking that she'd do that. Especially to 2D. He's not good at following the clues :P**

**I don't like this chap much. Not as funny. Oh well. **

**Yes, the spelling errors are on purpose haha. I mean, if I had a diary, I wouldn't write perfect.**

**Sorry about changing from Aussie spelling to American spelling. My spell checker is American, I'm used to Aussie. I confuse myself writing this. LOL.**

**Thanks so much for reviewing everyone!**


	4. JulyxAugust

**July 1st**

It's the first of this month today. Does feel like the start of something. Or maybe the end of it.

**July 2****nd**

Haven't left my room. Just realized the height of it is larger than the width. Wow. That's, er, weird.

**July 3****rd**

Kept hearing moaning outside. Sounds like some kind of monster. I'm used to it now… Happens a lot. But it's still kinda freaky. Puts those zombie movies into a completely new light.

**July 4****th**

Russel came down today and told me to go eat lunch. I wasn't hungry but I did anyway.

Noods was there.

I don't know why, but I feel kind of scared of her.

So I grabbed my meal and ran.

**July 5****th**

That's iconic. I swear Noodle used to run from me.

Oh wait… Yeah, she did.

**July 6****th**

Whoops. Ment 'ironic'.

What's ironic mean?

**July 8****th**

Noodle came down to my room today while I was playing that game she got me. She sat on the end of my bed and watched for, um, about an hour. I was doing really well until she said hi. It scared me and I got shot. On the game, I mean.

I never noticed before, but she has green eyes. Really pretty green. Like my patch of grass.

**July 10****th**

I went to my grass patch today.

It was gone! It died or somthin. Just… gone.

**July 11****th**

I miss my grass.

**July 12****th**

Murdoc came back today. He was talking to Noodle for about 2 hours. I used to talk to her for that long.

**July 14****th**

I left my room for about 2 seconds and he punched me! I don't even know what I did this time! He just walked up and hit me!

My nose won't stop bleedin. It's getting annoying.

**July 15****th**

Russel made me go to the doctors about it today. I fractured it. Well, Murdoc did.

I have a big bandage across my face now. I drew a smiley face on it.

**July 16****th**

I probably shouldn't have. I have a face on my nose. It looks kinda strange.

**July 17****th**

Noodle asked what happened to my nose at breakfast. All I did was look at Murdoc, and she got up and pulled him into the hall. Next thing I know, he's clutching his head muttering something like 'damn Japanese kung-fu masters' or something.

I wanted to laugh. But I'd probably get hit again.

**July 18****th**

Noodle said sorry about my nose, and drew a peace sign on it. Now I have a smile and a peace sign on my nose. Like some kind of weird growth.

She won't look at me though. I don't really like looking at her either. I mean, I want to. It's not like she's ugly or anythin. She's quite pretty actually. Or, dare I say it, beautiful. She's not 10 anymore.

**July 19****th**

I feel weird. Kinda like sick, but in a good way, and only when she's around. Like my chest is getting tighter or somthin.

Maybe I have a cold, too.

**July 21****st**

I haven't used my new Melodica yet.

It's really good lookin. I haven't seen one so… shiny before.

**July 22****nd**

I asked Noodle if she wanted to work on that song… And you know, add a Melodica part… Cuz I really wanna use that blue one.

But she said no. Just no.

I feel really rejected.

**July 25****th**

Nothing to write. Bored as.

**July 26****th**

I won a book on eBay for only 20 bucks. It's a zombie book. I hope it's good. I need to practice reading.

**July 28****th**

The book's coming in 3 days!

**July 29****th**

I told Noodle and she laughed. Is it really that shocking that I'm getting a book?

**July 31****st**

I don't like reading. It took 45 minutes for me to get past page 3.

**August 1****st**

Noodle said it was hilarious that I didn't get past the first page.

**Aug 2****nd**

Just found out what hilarious means.

I'm sure it was funny but… Not _that _funny.

**Aug 3****rd**

Everything's back to normal. It's like that, um, thing never happened.

I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

**Aug 5****th**

I kinda want it to happen again.

But I also really don't. I like being close to her. And playing video games and all…

But… I don't know. I wonder why she did it.

It wasn't like those kisses you see in movies, tongues flying everywhere. In fact, there was none of that.

It was just a quick kind of, uh, gentle… kiss. Yeah.

I think I'm blushing. I can't even write stuff like that. Screw this. I'm gonna go have a shower.

**Aug 6****th**

I just read over that. It sounded very corny and lame. I hate having a diary. Like, all these… thoughts are in here. And they're almost scary. I don't like it. They need to stay in my head.

**Aug 7****th**

If I thought it was hard looking at her before, it's worse now. Had to make up an excuse not to see her. I'm confused.

My migraines are back. Me 'ead hurts like hell.

**Aug 10****th**

My room still seems like a safe place.

**Aug 11****th**

I'm supposed to take the bandage off today.

I can't! It hurts! I don't wanna pull it off! It's like a hundred bits of sticky-tape glued together… like, trying to pull it off hurts!

**Aug 12****th**

Noods offered to help pull it off. I didn't want to. But she said I had to.

So she just pushed me onto my bed and pulled.

It still hurts!

**Aug 13****th**

…Still hurts.

**Aug 14****th**

Just realized Nood's hasn't been sleepin in my room for 2 months now.

Wow. It's a good thing though. I'd have a heart attack otherwise

**Aug 15****th**

My nose seems to have healed ok. But it's still red. And it still hurts.

**Aug 16****th**

Murdoc doesn't talk to us much anymore. Only Noodle. And most of the time he's yelling at her.

I wanna help her, but he'd hit me again.

**Aug 17****th**

I asked Noodle if she wanted anything for her birthday. She said no.

What do I get her?? I know it's 2 months away, but I'll forget otherwise.

So… what should I get her?

**Aug 19****th**

I gave the book to Noods. I give up. I don't like reading.

She said she'd tell me about it later. So it's kinda like I did read it.

**Aug 20****th**

She's already up to page 40. Wow. I was stuck on 3.

**Aug 23****rd**

It's the 23rd today.

Scary.

**Aug 25****th**

It's Thursday today.

I don't get the days of the week. Thursday? Wednesday? Tuesday? What do they all mean?

**Aug 26****th**

I searched on Google.

Something about Greek and Roman gods.

Why did they have different gods to us? Why did they have more than one?

**Aug 27****th**

Noodle told me about a site called Blackle.

It's the same as Google, but it saves power.

Because black screens use less energy than white screens.

Or somthin like that.

**Aug 28****th**

I like Google better.

Blackle seems depressing.

**Aug 30****th**

Noodle helped me add Melodica to the song. I don't know how I'm going to play Keyboard and Melodica at the same time though. And sing. Maybe we won't have vocals. It sounds better without them anyway.

Although we could record these parts all separately. Like in 'Tomorrow Comes Today.'

**Aug 31****st**

Practised my part with my new Melodica.

It's awesome. Practically plays itself.

…Well, it doesn't. I have to change notes and stuff.

But it sounds better. And looks better.

I love it.

* * *

**Yayy. Blue melodica. Lolz**

**I'm thinking of a sequel. I said earlier that Noodle had a diary... It'd be interesting to see her side of the story, wouldn't it? **

**Plus it'd be longer than this one... Since, you know, Noodle would probably write more. **

**I think the title of this is really lame. Any ideas for a new one? **


	5. SeptemberxOctober

**September 1****st**

I asked Russel what I should get Noodle. He didn't know. But he offered to go out on Saturday and get something with me… Because he wants to get her a present too.

**Sept 2****nd**

Russ made us the most awesome dinner last night. I don't know what it was… Somethin he made up. But it tasted like cheese and toast. And it was a soup. Cheese and toast soup. Somehow I don't think that's what it was tho.

**Sept 3****rd**

I told Noodle that I needed to get more pills or somthin so she wouldn't get suspicious. Then Russ drove me down to some shoppin mall.

Should I get her somthin Japanese? Or like, another guitar type thing? I found a lot of stuff she'd like but I dunno what to choose. I saw a really pretty dress for her, but it seemed too girly. There was this awesome sword thing. Er, Samurai… Sword… thing. It was kinda pricey but it's not like I can't afford it. That or a custom guitar. That was Russ's idea. I reckon she'd like either. Although she already has a sword… and a lot of guitars.

**Sept 4****th**

We're going back next week to actually buy somthin.

That leaves me with 6 days! I can't decide in 6 days! There's way too much pressure here!

**Sept 5****th**

Ok. She got me a Melodica, a movie and… erm… a flick-knife…

Why does she know what I want, and I have no idea what she wants? How did she know I like flick-knives?

Oh hang on… I could get her both the guitar and the sword… Right? She got me more than one thing…

**Sept 6****th**

Russ-almighty said no. It's too expensive.

Umm, Murdocs golf membership is over 200 000 a year… and Russ thinks _I'm _spending too much??

Besides… Murdoc doesn't even like golf.

**Sept 7****th**

I snuck into Noodles room today to see what she's into… you know, to make it easier to decide.

She does have a lot of guitars, and none of them are custom made. But on the other hand, she has a lot of them. And the sword she does have is really old. I bet it'd fall apart if she used it.

Anyway, after a bit of snooping around I saw her diary on her bed. She just left it lying there, open. I wasn't going to read it… How bad would that be? But it was open.

She said a lot about Murdoc being no help to her. And Russel was pre-occupied all the time.

It also said that she missed spending time with 2D, er, me, and that the whole, um, kissing incident was stupid and she shouldn't have done it, because I'd probably hate her now…

I didn't want anyone else to find it so I put it under her pillow.

**Sept 8****th**

That, er, 'incident' was over 2 months ago. I'm over it.

And why would I hate her? What made her think that?

Did it really take her that long to figure out Murdoc was no help?

Er, what does she need help with?

**Sept 9****th**

Ok. I'll stop thinking about that now.

But if she hasn't stopped thinking about it, why should I?

…Why was she thinking about it, anyway?

She couldn't have meant it… I think she, er, what's the word? Regrets it.

But… I'm confused.

**Sept 10****th**

I decided on the guitar.

And a really big stuffed toy panda.

…It's massive. I could barely carry it to the Geep.

I really hope she likes it. I felt like such a twat carrying it. It'll be almost as big as her.

**Sept 11****th**

I put in the order for the guitar yesterday as well. I didn't want to make it too expensive though. So I just got a modified Fender Stratocaster. She has a Telecaster already… So I figured she'd like this one. It's black and deep purple… kinda like her hair.

**Sept 12****th**

Russ got her some clothes or somthin. Cuz that's what she got him, yeah? Same kinda design, cept it's for girls. They'll look kinda weird wearing the same outfit, but oh well. I think she'll like it. Expensive-ish. Like his. Designer or somethin.

**Sept 14****th**

Where should I hide the panda? Noods will see it if she comes in my room. I can't say it's mine. She knows I don't keep stuffed toys.

I would… I like them heaps. But Murdoc would beat me up for it or somthin. Or start callin me gay again. What's he got against gays?? I think they're alright.

**Sept 16****th**

I hid it under my bed. There's heaps of stuff under there. She'll never find it.

**Sept 17****th**

Noodle found all the old recordings from our first album and G Sides.

We were listening to bits of it all day. Listening to all the different parts broken up is kinda fun. We mixed the piano from 'Rock the House' and Melodica from 'Tomorrow Comes Today'.

And then we added my vocals from '12D3' and 'Hip Albatross'.

It sounded really, um, weird. Funny though.

**Sept 18****th**

I actually sounded quite weird in Hip Albatross. Like I had a really bad stutter… or sumfin.

'I, I, I, I, I, I, was born a Zo-ombiiiiie'.

I don't think I'll ever re-create that vocal. It's probably a good thing though.

**Sept 20****th**

Actually, mixing all these tapes up is really fun. Nood's has been playing around with them for ages.

**Sept 21****st**

I was playing Helly-Drop while Noodle was mixing stuff today.

It's alright. I like pong better.

**Sept 24****th**

Russ told us to stay out of the mixing room cuz I made too much of a mess.

I was just going through our old tapes… Besides, it's always a mess.

**Sept 25****th**

I wanna dye my hair… See what it'd be like, er, normal.

But I'd have to dye all the hair on my arms and stuff as well. Otherwise it'd be blue and the hair on me 'ead would be blonde or sumfin.

Would I look good blonde? Maybe red.

**Sept 29****th**

Noodle was telling me about star signs or somthin.

I'm a Gemini. She's a Scorpio. _(1)_

**Sept 30****th**

I searched about Gemini on Google. I was gonna use Blackle… but yeah. It still seems depressing. Even if it saves energy.

'_The Gemini Personality is ruled by the planet Mercury, making them quick witted, verbose, intelligent and intellectual.'_

Noodle laughed. Why did she laugh?

**October 1****st**

Gemini's lucky day is Wednesday.

**Oct 2****nd**

Star signs can also be called something like a 'Zodiac'. Er… yeah. That's right. I think.

Noodle gave me another site. She said this sounded more like me;

'_You__ take interest in anything that requires a little brain power. Reading and ferreting out information on the internet are a perfect way for you to unwind. Communication would have to be one of your favourite pastimes.'_

I never read. Reading is the worst pastime.

But I do like finding information on Google.

**Oct 3****rd**

Noods said not to take it too seriously tho.

It's fun! There's also a thing called a horoscope. Or sumthin like that. Tells me what's gonna happen today and stuff. Sounds good. Cept wouldn't that make life boring? I mean, if I knew everything that was gonna happen that day, where would the fun and surprise be?

**Oct 4****th**

My horoscope said tomorrow is gonna be filled with, er, storm clouds? And while things are calm, not all has been, er, resolved…

Noodle said that means tomorrow is gonna be bad. Aw! But tomorrow's Wednesday! And that's supposed to be my lucky day!

**Oct 5****th**

Didn't leave my room all day. Scared that sumfin is gonna happen.

**Oct 6****th**

Noods told me not to read any more horoscopes. Just cuz it said sumthin was gonna happen yesterday, doesn't mean it would happen.

Which is true. It didn't. But that's cuz I stayed in my room. If I hadn't, sumthin horrible could've happened. My horoscope might have saved me!

**Oct 7****th**

Today was boring.

**Oct 8****th**

See yesterday's entry

**Oct 9****th**

I keep thinking about that diary entry Noodle had.

I shouldn't have read it.

But why'd she leave it out for anyone to find it?

Actually, I shouldn't have been in her room in the first place.

**Oct 10****th**

Ok. This isn't just confusing now. It's annoying the hell outta me.

I need to talk to Noodle.

**Oct 11****th**

…I can't! What do I do? Just walk up to her and say "Hi noods. Why the hell did you kiss me? Kthxbai"

It doesn't work like that.

I guess whatever happens will, er, happen. Tomorrow's Wednesday. My lucky day supposedly. I may as well talk to her then.

Since it is a lucky day for me and all… Might be safer.

**Oct 12****th**

Girls are confusing.

I went into her room (I knocked this time. She was there, and thank goodness her diary was hidden away. I don't need to read more of it.) and sat down on the floor with her. There isn't much seating in her room.

I sat there for about half an hour talking to her about, er, nothing. My brain doesn't work for me half the time. So I just talked to her about zombie movies and stuff like that.

And then she stood up and hugged me. Like, leaped at me, actually. And started saying how everything was confusing and that I was her best friend, and that nothing's been the same recently and she only has herself to blame, yet she isn't sure if she regrets what happened or not, but sometimes she wishes it didn't cuz everything is kinda awkward. She didn't mean for it to happen, it just kinda did.

… And I didn't even have to ask her to say anything.

**Oct 13****th**

She isn't sure if she regrets it?

**Oct 14****th**

I asked Noodle if she wanted to watch a movie but she said she was tired. I hope she's ok.

**Oct 15****th**

When I got to the kitchen Russ picked me up by the collar and asked what I did to Noodle to make her upset.

I didn't do anything!!

**Oct 16****th**

At least he believes me today.

Which is good. I was allowed to eat breakfast.

**Oct 17****th**

Noodle actually came down to my room today. We looked at that song we wrote ages ago. It's not really finished, but it still sounds good. Not album worthy or anything… Maybe like a B-sides track.

**Oct 18****th**

We're pretending that what she told me was never actually said.

I'm happy with that. It's still awkward. But… I just don't want to bring it up.

Noodle still looks really sad. I'm not sure why.

…Was what happened really that bad?

**Oct 19****th**

Maybe I'm a bad kisser. That could be it. Maybe that's why she's not sure if she regrets it or not. Because I'm just so, so bad at it.

Ugh. That's great. Really makes me feel good.

**Oct 20****th**

Just over a week until Noodle's 18th birthday. It'll have to be something kinda big-ish. You don't turn 18 every day.

Thank goodness. When I turned 18 I drank about 8 litres of Vodka. I don't think I'd survive if I did that every day.

**Oct 21****st**

Actually on my 18th I also went and threw up all over the dog. While some random was filming it.

Mom still has that tape. Why? I will never know.

**Oct 22****nd**

Noodle and Murdoc had a fight yesterday. I only found out this morning.

I'm not sure what it was about, but Noodle was really upset. She came down to my room around 5-ish. She was crying.

It's about 10:30 now. She's asleep. I've been holding her all arvo but she's still upset. What did Muds do to her??

**Oct 23****rd**

When I woke up she was gone.

Today has been really, um, violent and scary. I asked Muds what he did to Noodle, and he hit me. More than usual.

Er, what did I do?

So then I walked up to the Kitchen. I think I was bleedin but I'm not sure where or anything now. Can't remember. My head hurt like hell. And as soon as I walked in Russel started yelling (well, almost yelling. He's never actually yelled at me) about all sorts of stuff. Mainly about Noodle staying in my room. Then he saw me and stopped being angry straight away. I think he realized Murdoc had gotten to me first. So he gave me a heap of head-ache tablets and told me to wait for him while he got… uh, bandages or sumfin.

I must've passed out. Overdosed or sumfin, cuz next thing I remember was waking up in my room.

**Oct 24****th**

Noods was watching TV in my room when I woke up.

Then she told me I had to go have a shower to wash all that dried blood off or sumfin. I hadn't looked in the mirror until then. Murdoc did a good job. My ribs are all bruised and I think he broke my nose again.

**Oct 25****th**

He didn't break my nose. Just made it bleed a lot.

I'm good now tho. Noods has been staying with me heaps, cuz I keep forgetting to take my pills and stuff.

I'm glad she cares, but she must have sumfin better to do..?

**Oct 27****th**

Russ Noods and me stayed up watchin movies last night.

Murdoc seems to have disappeared again. I think the other's are ignorin him. I hope it's not cuz of me.

**Oct 28****th**

Russ asked me to help him plan stuff for Noodle's birthday.

I thought we should go clubbing or sumfin… since she's legally allowed to now. But Russel thought it was a bad idea.

I didn't tell him me and Muds used to sneak her out to clubs since she was 14.

**Oct 29****th**

We're gonna take her out to lunch like we did for our birthdays, but to somewhere more fancy and expensive. Then we're gonna go bowling, watch a movie, then come back to Kong.

Russ had a helluva lot of things planned. He'd booked heaps of places out. Like, about 20 restaurants, 5 bowling alleys, tickets for all the movies that are on currently… Heaps of stuff. Whatever we didn't choose, we cancelled.

She's only getting the best.

**Oct 30****th**

The guitar came today. I had to run out and get it from the delivery guy before Noodle did. Which was easy, she was sleeping till about 3 this arvo.

It looks really good. The guitar, I mean.

Then Russ showed me a slideshow of random pics and videos of us all, mainly Noodle, from when we first started until a few months ago. He made it himself. It's really good. I added a few photos of my own this arvo.

I better go and wrap the presents. I think the Panda toy is a bit, um, dusty now. But it'll clean easy. I hope.

**Oct 31****st**

Have I ever said that I can't wrap presents? Cuz I can't. I just can't.

Today was pretty awesome. We didn't want to wake Noods up, but we had to get her to the place for lunch. It was a really awesome Japanese restaurant. We booked the whole thing out so it was just us and a few, um, guests. Damon was there. We kinda had to invite him and Jamie, cuz they helped us a lot and watched Noodle grow up with us. Russ asked Murdoc to come but he didn't want to.

It was good. We stayed till about 5. Uh… it was a late lunch.

Then we went to the movies. I can't remember what it was though… It wasn't about zombies. I don't think there was much of a story line. Just a lot of shooting and crap. Noodle would hide behind my arm when it was really scary. But she isn't 10 anymore, so it doesn't happen as much.

Then we went bowling. Russ booked out the whole place. Damon is actually really good at it. So was Noodle. I sat at the back with Russel. It was still kinda busy. We didn't invite too many people, but I think all of our friends are a bit crazy, so it felt like we did.

…Jamie isn't very good at bowling.

Russ didn't talk much. Just kept watching the others. Then he turned to me. 'She's not a little girl anymore, is she?'

I shook my head. Russ just sighed and said 'She see's you more than us now. She's not under my care anymore, so... Take care of her, D.' And then he left to get more food.

Umm… I wasn't sure what to say so I just sat there until Noodle came up and made me sit at one of those big party tables, the one's that sit about 14 kids. It's a bit harder to sit 14 adults though. Everyone gave her presents over. I gave her the Panda, but I figured I'd give her the guitar when we got home.

She got heaps of stuff. Clothes, games, weapons, toys… Someone gave her a Clarinet. I don't know if she can play that, but she seems to be good at everything else.

After we got home I dragged her down to my room. She looked confused but then she saw the guitar case on my bed. She told me that I didn't have to get her anything, and that the Panda was enough, but she walked over to it anyway. As soon as she opened it she squealed and kissed me on the cheek. I guess she liked it.

She took it out and ran her fingers over the strings. She plugged it into one of my amps and had a quick play with it. Then she started strumming the song we were writing.

I don't know what came over me, but I started singing. When I'd finished Noods just looked at me.

'Did you just think of that, like, just then?' She asked me. I told her I had and she said that it was really good, since I'd made it up on the spot.

I don't know why I thought of it. The words just kind of came to me.

Noodle told me not to forget them, and then put her guitar in the case and went to put it in her room.

I have to go too. Russel's slideshow is showing in… About 5 minutes. I'll quickly write those lyrics down now, and then I'll go.

_Everything seen in black and white.__  
Trapped inside a shell.  
Wishing for heaven yet it feels like hell._

_The green of your eyes, The taste on your lips.  
Prove to me it__'__s not in my mind.  
Yet I__'__m sure it is_

_This taste of blood couldn't stop me now.  
This feeling it burns me, yet I know you knew.  
The need to taste, to hold, to feel all of you._

* * *

**Umm... that was kinda long actually. This took longer than usual. Is it obvious I had no idea how to do this chapter?**

**I saw an ad earlier for a chocolate called 'Freddo Frog'. They come with mini chocolates in their stomachs now. Anyway, I thought it was really funny because they were advertising that Freddo's now come with 'Mini chocolate balls and boom boom bits.' Immature, but hilarious. LOL.**

**Only 2 months left before the year (in this fic) is over. Which means only one chapter to go. **

**I know there's not much comedy in this. It's gone all serious LOL.**

**Yeah, those lyrics sucked. It's all I could come up with.**

**Do any of you have any more ideas for the title? Maybe it could be one of those crap lyrics I wrote? I dunno. Eh... I'll think about it. Thanks for reading **

_**(1) ****Noodle's birthday is 31st of October. This is actually on the cusp of Scorpio and Libra. Most sites said she was a Scorpio, but I'll put this here anyway just in case, for some strange reason, you guys get confused about that.**_


	6. NovemberxDecember

**November 1****st**

Noodle cried during the slideshow. I don't think it was cuz it was really bad or sumfin. I think she just got emotional.

Russel asked if we should celebrate Hanukkah this month. I'm not sure what it is, so I said no. We'll have Christmas to celebrate anyway.

Oh yeah, next month is Christmas! Yayy. I wonder if Russ and Noods want anything..?

**Nov 2****nd**

I'm gonna get her a puppy. I know she says she doesn't want one, but I reckon she'll love it.

I searched what Hanukkah was. It's Jewish… and that's all I found out, cuz I was kinda tired.

**Nov 3****rd**

Noods came down to my room with her new guitar. She knocked on the door and just said 'Sing for me?'

She started playing that song we were writing again. When we first wrote it, she played it with an acoustic. Now she's using an electric. I liked it better before. But maybe it's just cuz it sounds so different, it might just take a while to get used to.

After a bit, she told me she'd work on my lyrics and stuff. Then she started listing off songs, asking which one's I wanted to practice today.

I picked anything with Melodica in it. I want an excuse to play it.

**Nov 4****th**

Russel wasn't feeling well, and I don't know what Muds is doing, so I took Noodle out for take-out half an hour ago. It was good, but really greasy.

She's sleeping on my bed with her Panda toy. Tis cute, cept I have nowhere to sleep now.

**Nov 5****th**

My pen ran out of ink so I went to Noods room to ask for a new one.

And… that's about it. That's all that happened. I got a pen.

**Nov 6****th**

I tried looking outside for more grass but there isn't any. I can't believe that the patch I found awhile ago just died… Just like that. One moment it was there, the next it'd vanished!

It really sucks, cuz that little area was really warm. And it smelt like flowers. Unlike the rest of Kong. I don't even wanna mention what it smells like.

**Nov 7****th**

Noodle wanted to go out later today by herself. I didn't want her to though… It's dangerous out there. Then she told me she had her mobile so she could call me if anything happened.

I've never used my mobile before. Except playing pong on it. I didn't know I could call people on it!

**Nov 8****th**

Noods taught me how to send text messages.

It's awesome! I have her mobile number in my phone book now.

**Nov 9****th**

I've been texting Noodle all night. Until about 2am. I can't believe I never knew how to do this before!

**Nov 10****th**

Noodle was showing me heaps of stuff on my mobile. It's really cool.

But I'm getting that sick feeling again. Like after that, erm, 'incident'. And everything starts feeling awkward. Argh! I hate it!

I need a drink. A really, really strong drink.

**Nov 11****th**

I feel like an idiot.

No, really. Like… I know Murdoc always says I'm a dumbass and all… But right now I feel really stupid.

And the more I read back… All the way back to January…

It makes me feel even stupider.

Cuz all these feelings and stuff, I had back with Paula… I've got them now.

But with Paula, they weren't quite as strong.

I thought I loved her.

I feel so stupid.

**Nov 12****th**

Stuff this. I'm gonna go ask Muds if he has any alcohol. Even if he punches me.

If everything goes alright, I might be able to talk to him, too. But I have to talk at the right moments.

Cuz 5 minutes after he starts drinking, he's a little violent. Another 5 after that, he calms down and complains about the world, yeah?

Half an hour… maybe an hour later, he'll be dead calm. You could tell him he was a twat and he'd laugh.

But like, less than 15 minutes after that, he goes back to being violent. Either that or he'll start looking for a girl to, er… never mind.

And the whole thing repeats itself, if you get him drinking long enough.

He drinks so much. I've had all that memorized for awhile now.

**Nov 13****th**

He was already drunk by the time I knocked on his Winnebago. But he seemed happy enough, so he gave me a drink.

I just talked to him about nothing. Like I usually do. He wasn't angry at me or anythin. He'll be hung over tomorrow tho, so I'll have to stay away from him.

**Nov 14****th**

Noodle came down to my room again today. She brought her acoustic this time.

She didn't play anything in particular. I just sat down and watched her, while she strummed random chords. For about… two hours.

She's coming back down in an hour.. We're watching another movie.

**Nov 15****th**

When I woke up I was leaning on a wall and Noodle was sleeping in my lap.

Scared me to death. But then I remembered she watched a movie with me.

I didn't want to wake her up, but my head hurt really badly, and my pills weren't in reaching distance.

She wasn't upset that I'd woken her up tho. In fact, she smiled and ran upstairs to get me some breakfast. Er, lunch, actually. It was about 1:30 in the arvo.

I still feel stupid.

**Nov 16****th**

I was just daydreaming this morning. You know… sitting there, half asleep…

And Noodle asked why I was staring at her.

Er… I didn't realize I was staring.

…Still feel stupid.

**Nov 17****th**

Murdoc came down to my room about 4 am. He came in and sat on one of my keyboards.

And then he told me Noodle had been talking to him since 5 that arvo until half an hour ago. And all she was talking about was me.

Me? Why?

Anyway, I asked him why this meant he had to wake me up. He just shrugged and said 'Thought you'd like to know. I've seen the way you look at her, face-ache.'

I told him I had no idea what he meant.

He started talking for about 3 minutes. I can't be bothered writing it all. None of it was important. Just the last 3 or 4 sentences. I still remember them, which is pretty strange. Although all of this is kinda strange.

He said 'Look dullard, the girl likes you. Might be hard to get into that thick skull of yours, right? So I thought I'd tell ya before you go and do something you'll regret, cuz that seems to be what you're good at doing. That, and singing like a girl.'

She likes me?? Since when? There's no way. I'm, like, 10 or so years older than her. There's no freakin way.

…

I do _not _sing like a girl.

**Nov 18****th**

I couldn't get any sleep last night. Damn Murdoc. Deciding to say all that junk yesterday. I can't stop thinking about it. If he kept his nose in his own business…

He must've been joking. He's never been nice to me. So why would he tell me that? I doubt it'd be for my advantage. Nothing he says to me ever helps.

Besides. He said I sing like a girl. He must be out of his mind. I do _not_sing like a freakin girl.

**Nov 19****th**

I bet Murdoc is just upset that I'm a better singer than him. I've heard him sing in the shower. He sounds horrible. Really, _really _bad. It's amazing I can still hear after listening to him.

_My _singing-in-the-shower sounds a lot better.

Not that I sing in the shower.

Well, not very often.

**Nov 20****th**

Still don't believe it.

Still feel like an idiot.

**Nov 21****st**

Murdoc came down again today and asked if I told her yet.

…I honestly didn't know what he was talking about.

Then he told me to tell her I like her.

I can't do that! Like I said, I'm about 13 years older than her. Besides, it's so lame dating someone in your own band. It's… umm, what's the word? Starts with 'C'…

Anyway…

Murdoc said it was obvious. And I have to tell her.

It's not obvious. I only figured it out myself this month! If I couldn't figure it out until now, then obviously it was _not _obvious.

I asked him if I really sing like a girl. And he laughed at me.

Which pretty much concluded the night's entertainment.

**Nov 22****nd**

I figured out what the word was. Cliché. It's too much of a cliché, dating someone in a band with you. Lead guitar and lead singer? Seems to happen all the time!

I don't wanna be a cliché!

**Nov 23****rd**

Tomorrow's thanksgiving.

I never really celebrated it. Russel does though. Which is good. He cooks the best turkey…

**Nov 24****th**

Dinner was awesome. But Murdoc kept smirking at me. What'd I do to deserve this??

**Nov 25****th**

Murdoc came down to my room again.

This has to stop! I'm starting to hate these conversations that I have with him more and more each day!

He asked if I seriously liked her… He was serious about it, actually. He wasn't trying to tease me.

I never noticed before, but there was a hole in the knee of my jeans that I just kinda had to start playing with at that time. Murdoc told me to stop fiddling and answer the question.

I kinda shrugged. I don't really want Murdoc knowing. He'd probably tell the world. He'd probably tell Noods.

He shook his head at me. 'You do like her, don't you D? You realize the age difference is… big, right? And no matter what, the press you guys would get… It wouldn't be good.'

He's confusing me. I thought he wanted me to tell her I liked her?

**Nov 26****th**

I don't like her. I can't like her. She's been like a little sister to me. How can somebody like their little sister? They can't.

Well, actually, they can. But they end up with kids that have 2 heads or sumfin.

Um, anyway, that's not quite the point.

I just can't like her… like, in that way.

I just can't.

**Nov 27****th**

Noodle was playing video games with me today.

We were playing for ages. Then we started talking. And she told me Murdoc said something to her. I asked what it was and she told me not to worry about it.

I hope it's not what I think it is.

I think it is what I, er, think it is. But I hope it's not.

**Nov 28****th**

I asked Murdoc if he told her. He just smirked at me.

I can't believe him!

I went to punch him but he stopped me. And then I kinda realized that it'd hurt me more if he punched me back. So I ran to my room.

**Nov 29****th**

He told her!

**Nov 30****th**

Why did he tell her? I thought I could trust him!

**December 1****st**

Note to self: Never trust Murdoc.

**Dec 2****nd**

Note to self: Never, ever, _ever _trust Murdoc.

**Dec 3****rd**

Noodle was playing guitar in her room today. Just random stuff.

Not that I was, you know, standing outside her room and listening. I just kinda walked past.

**Dec 4****th**

Murdoc was waiting for me when I walked out of my room today. I don't really wanna talk to him… At all. But I'm just a little scared of him. So I let him talk to me. He asked what I was doing for christmas. I didn't want to tell him. What if he told Noodle that as well? But… er, I told him anyway, cuz he looked ready to punch something. He decided that the puppy idea was a great one, and he'd get food bowls and stuff like that.

Um, I wanted to do that too. But Murdoc isn't a man to pick a fight with.

**Dec 5****th**

I decided on a Labrador.

Everyone loves Labrador's.

**Dec 7****th**

Noodle came down to my room today. She looked tired.

She decided to tell me about that book I got on Ebay. From what I've heard, it would've been better as a movie.

So I don't think I missed much by not reading it.

**Dec 8****th**

Noodle came to my room again. She was playing around with her new Clarinet.

After awhile she just kinda looked at me and said somebody told her something interesting.

I felt scared.

Then she said that no matter what, she'd always be my friend, and that none of this could break us up.

I started thinking I had cancer or something. But then she asked if I liked her.

I asked her who told her, uh, _that_, but she just said a little birdy told her.

So I just, um, sat there. Like a zombie. What could I say?

She just sighed and said I didn't need to tell her. Then she continued playing her instrument.

It must've been Murdoc. But she said a little birdy..?

Maybe it was Cortez?

I think finding out I had cancer might have been better.

**Dec 9****th**

Couldn't have been Cortez. He can't talk or write.

Besides, he's hardly a 'little birdy,' is he?

**Dec 10****th**

She saw me in the corridor leading to the carpark this morning.

She coughed and started playing with the buttons on her coat. I think I asked how the weather was.

Which was kind of dumb.

Then she brushed her hair out of her eyes and laughed.

We've had a girl in our band for this long, and nobody took advantage of it?? Am I the only one who's just noticed that Noodle is actually a girl?

I think I've gone mad.

**Dec 11****th**

I'm going to ask her if she likes me.

**Dec 12****th**

…

Ok, no I'm not.

**Dec 13****th**

I told Murdoc to tell Noodle that I was bored and wanted her to come hang out with me tonight. Cuz I can't get myself to ask her.

**Dec 14****th**

Noodle and I watched a movie, like usual, and then we sat and talked for the rest of the night. Until… about 5 this morning I think. Not about anything interesting. Just random talk.

There was no awkwardness or anything. It was… like old times.

**Dec 15****th**

Did nothing today. Boring.

**Dec 16****th**

I wanna talk to Noodle. About, um… us. But I can't. It's hard!

**Dec 18****th**

A week until Christmas!

**Dec 19****th**

Russel tried teaching me to cook bacon and eggs for breakfast this morning.

Nothing caught on fire this time!

But everything was black and burnt. Oh well. I'm improving!

**Dec 20****th**

I went down to the petshop with Muds today and had a look at the dogs. I picked a really young puppy. It was a yellow Labrador, like I wanted it to be! The one I did pick was sleeping in the corner. He looked so cute!

The guy behind the counter said he could keep it for me until Christmas Eve.

The puppy doesn't have a name yet. I'm gonna let Noodle choose one.

**Dec 21****st**

Murdoc's been buying all sorts of stuff for the pup. Even weird clothes for it.

I asked why, and he said that it might get cold in winter.

I told him that I knew he had a soft side. So he hit me.

**Dec 22****nd**

Today was just as boring. Me and Murdoc were the only one's still at Kong, since we'd both done our Christmas shopping.

…Oh! I need to get something for mom and dad!

**Dec 23****rd**

I went shopping again today for my parents. I got mom this necklace. Really pretty. I got dad a mobile. Now I can teach him about phones too!! I can't wait until I can text him!

**Dec 24****th**

Christmas Eve!

I picked up the pup today. He was sleeping the whole trip back! I put him in my room. I hope he doesn't start barking later on tonight or something.

There were fireworks going off at midnight near one of those towns we live by. We could just see them from the roof of Kong, so we all sat up there. It was cold, but the fireworks looked really good. So I think it was worth it.

Anyway, I need my sleep. It's kinda tomorrow now, it's like, 1 in the morning. And Noodle's pup won't stop growling at me.

**Dec 25****th**

Christmas!

I put the puppy in a box… it had holes in it, so it could breathe though. And I put it under the tree. There were a few presents there.

By the time everyone else woke up it was lunch. We were about to open the presents when the dog decided to start barking.

Oh well. She was going to find it anyway. She was really excited!

Murdoc actually apologised for missing her birthday. He _apologised_!

Russel got me a new hard drive for my computer! I have no idea how to install it though. But it's good, because I was running out of memory.

Murdoc got me a pair of socks. Um, it's the thought that counts, yeah?

Noods gave me another video game. Yayy. She also got me a dream catcher and a lava lamp, because she said my room seemed too dull.

**Dec 26****th**

Noodle called the puppy Aiko. She's been running around with him all day. I'm glad she likes him. He was wearing this red woollen jumper that I assume Murdoc got him.

I actually thought it was kinda scary. Murdoc has a weird sense in, um, dog fashion.

**Dec 27****th**

Noodle came into my room with Aiko today. She was talking to me and asked why I got her a puppy. I told her it was because I thought she'd like it. Then I asked her why she called it Aiko. She chuckled slightly and asked if I remembered when she was younger and I'd call her my little love.

Well, of course I remembered.

Then she told me that's what Aiko means. It means 'little love' or 'beloved' in Japanese.

I can't believe she remembers that.

**Dec 28****th**

Noodle was playing that new game with me while Aiko slept in-between us. This time he had a green jumper on with Japanese characters on it. I like that one better.

She was telling me all about Aiko, and how he's always chewing her pillow and messing up her room, but he's really soft and cuddly and how she thought it was a great present. I told her I'd do anything for her, and she smiled at me.

**Dec 29****th**

Noodle brought out a piece of paper today with a whole heap of words on it. Then I realized it was the lyrics that she said she'd fix up. She asked me to sing it while she played guitar. So I did. And it does sound good.

_Everything seen in black and white,__  
We love the sun yet we wish for the night.  
__Harboured feelings trapped inside a shell,  
They say love is heaven but all I feel is hell._

_Your eyes tell a story, of how it all is,  
When what I can taste is me on your lips.  
The proof is all there that this is all real,  
But it's all in my mind, that's all I can feel. _

_Bite my tongue, to keep these thoughts in my head,  
All I can taste is blood from what hasn't been said.  
This sensation to feel you, to taste you, to hold you,  
It burns all of me, but none of it's new._

**Dec 30****th**

It's new years tomorrow. I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to get Noodle something else. Since she got me this diary last year. It's a necklace. Just a simple silver chain, but at the end it has a pendant with ヌードル engraved on it, which means Noodle in Japanese.

We're spending New Year's at Kong. Just a quiet sort of… night in.

All day I've been thinking about what Murdoc kept telling me. I know I should say something to her. I'll have to eventually. I just don't know how or when.

**Dec 31****st**

Noodle, Aiko and me stayed in my room. Nood's wanted to watch the fireworks on the widescreen TV, so that's the only reason we were in there.

So we turned off the lights and sat on my bed watching the fireworks. It was late and I'd almost forgotten to give her the necklace. So I pulled it out and told her to close her eyes. She did, and I put the necklace on her. When she opened them again, she gasped at it and told me I didn't need to.

'it wasn't expensive' I told her. Which isn't completely the truth. She didn't need to know that though.

She shook her head. 'It doesn't matter. You really didn't have to.'

'It means Noodle.'

'I know.'

She looked at me, you know, with those green eyes. And I had a sudden urge to kiss her.

So I did.

I don't know why I did it, actually. I just kind of felt like it. I would've stayed there forever, 'cept Aiko had different ideas when he decided to jump between us instead. Noodle laughed and looked at me. It felt like… my chest was in a car compacter or sumfin. So I figured I'd say it before I completely chickened out. I just kinda said 'I love ya Noods.'

And I take it she likes me too, cuz she went and kissed me again.

* * *

**That's it.**

**Which sucks. I really don't like how this ended.**

**This chapter was supposed to be fluffy! **

**And yeah. This title isn't much better. But at least it relates to the story. **

**I'll get started on the sequel, I suppose. It won't be the same, but it'll give you Noodle's side. All the unanswered questions. **

**review?**


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